Dr. Schmirtzendoof is Joe's assistant. He also wears a Hazmat suit and is (very secretly) Mr. Hazmat's younger evil twin. He is allergic to sandwiches but he likes chocolate cake (for no apparent reason). He stands at 5'9" and is 34 years old. Just like Mr. Hazmat, no one really knows his species. When Joe is not looking, he creates machines that end in -machine. Joe tends to think of him as more of an "unpaid intern" and so he is not found on Joe's page.
Dr. Scmirtzendoof

Dr. Scmirtzendoof

General Information
Height 5'9"
Age 34
Gender Male
Species Homo ordinari (probably)


He was added shortly after Joe as his assistant. He had a very scarring childhood and makes up 95% of Joe's backstories for him.

Other thingsEdit

  • He never tries out his inventions. He just puts them in Joe's garage and then makes more.
  • He doesn't really behave like an assistant but Joe treats him like a slave anyway.
  • As a child, he went to Joeschool and did pretty well.
  • His best friend is Doctor Rotcod
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