The Phony Bologna Mustache Emporium is a place where you buy mustaches. Mr. Know goes there on the owner's birthday to get free mustaches. Joe goes there so he doesn't have to tear his eybrows off, and Mr. Mustachedeliverer goes there to pick up his daily order of mustaches to deliver. You can also go to the Phony Bologna Mustache Emporium to get things like shaving cream, but we wouldn't reccommend eating it.